Chin Up Girl

So where the fuck have I been...who knows? What I can tell you is that it feel like I have been fucked up, down, left and right and am now finally starting to find my way to recovery. Recovery from what you may be asking yourself.... WOMEN! The very fibers of our earth that makes this world go round. All I can say at this point is there is nothing worse than being in love with someone and not receiving the same love in return. It truly cuts to the core. Yes its true, I have sobbed, been depressed, moaned and groaned and still it has not gotten me anywhere but led me to repeat the same bloody cycle all over again. There is no point in crying tears over someone who is definitely not crying any tears over your ass. My New Years resolution was to pull myself up by the britches and move the fuck on. Or as one of my best buds tells me "chin up girl, there's plenty of other fish in the sea". Well I don't know how much truth that holds for me at this point considering haven gotten nothing but trout so far but time will tell...right? Now don't get me wrong, trout is quite tasty for many but I for one prefer a nice cut of grade A tuna. Sushi anyone?

READY

The post below this one was actually written a couple of weeks ago, was posted and then deleted two days later. Lets just say I was going through alot. I went from being so sure I would do whatever it took to get her love back, to regretting ever loving her. Well I have come to my sensesl the truth is I miss the hell out of that woman. Bound with new determination, I once again feel brave enough to re-post the orginal messages containing my original feelings. The road back to gaining her love and trust again will be long, hard, tedious, and Im sure quite stressful at times but Im prepared. Not much else to say at this point except restate the obvious...Im ready.

Distractions...Distractions...Distractions

I have come to the conclusion I am finally a person who has been easily distracted in the past, this has led me to seek help my fellow lezzies. My likeness for distractions only arises when matters of the heart seem too good to be true. It has been done and written.. my beautiful girlfriend of almost two years has finally left me:( After all her efforts of giving unconditional love and me... well lets just say I did more taking than giving; she has walked out. I cant blame her though. She put up with a lot of my shit; the mood swings, the runny nose tissues all over the house, the taste for expensive trinkets and trips, the staying out way past a time deemed to be appropriate, and of course the dishonesty. Whatever my little heart desired she was much obliged and my dumb ass didn't appreciate it. Instead I chose to sniff around in all the neighbors yards to see what they had going on. HUGE MISTAKE!! Soooo. I have decided to turn a new leaf, to be true to myself and the person I am with. I divulge this insanely personal information as a warning to all you stupid bitches not realizing what you have at home. WAKE UP GOD DAMMIT! Wake up before its too late and you find yourself by yourself pondering over all the ridiculous mistakes you made. Wake up before you fine yourself too sick with pain to eat, too crushed to concentrate, too utterly disgusted at yourself for the way you treated her that can barely stand to look at yourself in the mirror. To any of you who are in my position and realized you just made a hell of a fuck up by losing "the one", do what I'm doing, fight tooth and nail to get her back. If it calls for you being extremely vulnerable, admitting your faults, going through measures like never before, and being committed to see it all through...DO IT! Do whatever it takes, don't let her get away... cause goddammit that's what Ima do.

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You ol haggard Bitch....

Yes, yes its way into August but I'm still stuck on the ridiculous drama that so kindly seeped it's way into my fourth of July. The day started well; I'd gone to work and once off headed straight to an all lesbian BBQ hosted by a friend of a friend. So I'm sure you are wondering where everything goes down hill. Well Ima tell you right now dammit! Some haggard 60 year old wanna be dyke who is still married to her husband, living off his money, and fucking some young 20 something woman, hit my car. Did i mention she was the one throwing the BBQ. Well this ol hag, lets just call her Hag Bitch for short, hit my car and then had the nerve to suggest we not get the insurance involved, not file a police report, and you'll love this one... have her son take my car to a body shop "after hours". I could not believe my ears. Hag Bitch cannot be serious. Well she was dammit. I politely declined her bull shit offer excused myself from her house and called the police. As I left her house I was followed by a slew of her drunken slurs telling me I was no longer welcomed and to obtain a good lawyer. Really?.. cause that Hag just hit me but OK. The best part of the evening came when Hag Bitch refused to answer the door for the police and was slapped with charges of hit and run and evading the police. Ha Ha. By the next morning Hag Bitch had sobered up and quickly realized this was one situation her husbands money could not buy her out of. She filed the claim and my car was fixed the next week.. Hooray! I bet ol Hag will think twice next time before making idle threats. Here ye, Here ye.. Beware of thee ol Haggard Bitch of Winter Park, she'll try and fuck you if you are under 22 and sue you if your older.

Page 142, and you?

Its been a while since Ive been on here to record any random thoughts that may have fluttered through my coconut. Yes, yes its true, I have been caught up in my own lesbian drama. Can you believe it? I have been facing some tough times in my relationship lately, in the constant struggle to stay on the same page. What page are we on again? I'm such a fast reader you know..These are the times where you consult the friends whose relationships are probably no better than yours for advice on what to do. Questioning them to death, worrying them with a bunch of hows and whys. Fuck! Have I become the incessant rambler that I utterly detest day in and day out. OK, I finally figured out that my brilliance in solving problems in relationships only applies to other peoples relationships, not my own. I cant even use my own craft for my own good.. now that's some bullshit. Oh well, wasted talent. I'll figure it out one way or another, I always do.
I'm about to finish page 142, chapter 6. What page are you on?

Im Beefy

While enjoying an evening out with my girlfriend at one of our favorite artsy fartsy hangouts, The Peacock Lounge; our space was invaded by an alien. Now I'm sure most of you have seen this type of extraterrestial floating around town. Its the I make 8 figures, shit golden bricks, and every man, child, and especially woman should bow down and worship me. The type of alien that feels the need to grab his fucking weenier every two seconds just to make sure some swirly gal hasn't run off with it, because after all..he is a hot commodity..right? PLEASE!!! Its not even possible for be to be more disgusted by this type of pig who would like to think if himself as a man. Its bad enough that we have to see this type of jack off running around during the day, but now we must be subjected to seeing this pompous ass in our hangout time.. Something has to be done about this...immediately! The straight meat market bar called and they want their golden weenier cock meat head back..pronto!

Please Sir Can I Have Some More?

A good friend of mine recently returned back to Orlando after being gone for almost two years. Over the weekend we spent some much needed time catching up, exchanging all the latest gossip in our worlds, and just being plain ol silly. My ol lezzie chum is dying from a rare disease and has been given less than a year to live, but despite the dreadful news she has remained in surprisingly amazing spirits. I say.. I almost soiled my fucking pants countless times from her crazy antics. She is an amazing person, spirit and quite an informative bitch, If I may say so myself. If there are any ungrateful fucks reading this, you better take a good hard look at yourself and appreciate what you have in life and even the things you don't have. Stop complaining when its not warranted and don't sweat the small shit. Trust me, you'll laugh alot more throughout life if you do, and you might even soil yourself:)