READY

The post below this one was actually written a couple of weeks ago, was posted and then deleted two days later. Lets just say I was going through alot. I went from being so sure I would do whatever it took to get her love back, to regretting ever loving her. Well I have come to my sensesl the truth is I miss the hell out of that woman. Bound with new determination, I once again feel brave enough to re-post the orginal messages containing my original feelings. The road back to gaining her love and trust again will be long, hard, tedious, and Im sure quite stressful at times but Im prepared. Not much else to say at this point except restate the obvious...Im ready.

Distractions...Distractions...Distractions

I have come to the conclusion I am finally a person who has been easily distracted in the past, this has led me to seek help my fellow lezzies. My likeness for distractions only arises when matters of the heart seem too good to be true. It has been done and written.. my beautiful girlfriend of almost two years has finally left me:( After all her efforts of giving unconditional love and me... well lets just say I did more taking than giving; she has walked out. I cant blame her though. She put up with a lot of my shit; the mood swings, the runny nose tissues all over the house, the taste for expensive trinkets and trips, the staying out way past a time deemed to be appropriate, and of course the dishonesty. Whatever my little heart desired she was much obliged and my dumb ass didn't appreciate it. Instead I chose to sniff around in all the neighbors yards to see what they had going on. HUGE MISTAKE!! Soooo. I have decided to turn a new leaf, to be true to myself and the person I am with. I divulge this insanely personal information as a warning to all you stupid bitches not realizing what you have at home. WAKE UP GOD DAMMIT! Wake up before its too late and you find yourself by yourself pondering over all the ridiculous mistakes you made. Wake up before you fine yourself too sick with pain to eat, too crushed to concentrate, too utterly disgusted at yourself for the way you treated her that can barely stand to look at yourself in the mirror. To any of you who are in my position and realized you just made a hell of a fuck up by losing "the one", do what I'm doing, fight tooth and nail to get her back. If it calls for you being extremely vulnerable, admitting your faults, going through measures like never before, and being committed to see it all through...DO IT! Do whatever it takes, don't let her get away... cause goddammit that's what Ima do.

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You ol haggard Bitch....

Yes, yes its way into August but I'm still stuck on the ridiculous drama that so kindly seeped it's way into my fourth of July. The day started well; I'd gone to work and once off headed straight to an all lesbian BBQ hosted by a friend of a friend. So I'm sure you are wondering where everything goes down hill. Well Ima tell you right now dammit! Some haggard 60 year old wanna be dyke who is still married to her husband, living off his money, and fucking some young 20 something woman, hit my car. Did i mention she was the one throwing the BBQ. Well this ol hag, lets just call her Hag Bitch for short, hit my car and then had the nerve to suggest we not get the insurance involved, not file a police report, and you'll love this one... have her son take my car to a body shop "after hours". I could not believe my ears. Hag Bitch cannot be serious. Well she was dammit. I politely declined her bull shit offer excused myself from her house and called the police. As I left her house I was followed by a slew of her drunken slurs telling me I was no longer welcomed and to obtain a good lawyer. Really?.. cause that Hag just hit me but OK. The best part of the evening came when Hag Bitch refused to answer the door for the police and was slapped with charges of hit and run and evading the police. Ha Ha. By the next morning Hag Bitch had sobered up and quickly realized this was one situation her husbands money could not buy her out of. She filed the claim and my car was fixed the next week.. Hooray! I bet ol Hag will think twice next time before making idle threats. Here ye, Here ye.. Beware of thee ol Haggard Bitch of Winter Park, she'll try and fuck you if you are under 22 and sue you if your older.

Page 142, and you?

Its been a while since Ive been on here to record any random thoughts that may have fluttered through my coconut. Yes, yes its true, I have been caught up in my own lesbian drama. Can you believe it? I have been facing some tough times in my relationship lately, in the constant struggle to stay on the same page. What page are we on again? I'm such a fast reader you know..These are the times where you consult the friends whose relationships are probably no better than yours for advice on what to do. Questioning them to death, worrying them with a bunch of hows and whys. Fuck! Have I become the incessant rambler that I utterly detest day in and day out. OK, I finally figured out that my brilliance in solving problems in relationships only applies to other peoples relationships, not my own. I cant even use my own craft for my own good.. now that's some bullshit. Oh well, wasted talent. I'll figure it out one way or another, I always do.
I'm about to finish page 142, chapter 6. What page are you on?

Im Beefy

While enjoying an evening out with my girlfriend at one of our favorite artsy fartsy hangouts, The Peacock Lounge; our space was invaded by an alien. Now I'm sure most of you have seen this type of extraterrestial floating around town. Its the I make 8 figures, shit golden bricks, and every man, child, and especially woman should bow down and worship me. The type of alien that feels the need to grab his fucking weenier every two seconds just to make sure some swirly gal hasn't run off with it, because after all..he is a hot commodity..right? PLEASE!!! Its not even possible for be to be more disgusted by this type of pig who would like to think if himself as a man. Its bad enough that we have to see this type of jack off running around during the day, but now we must be subjected to seeing this pompous ass in our hangout time.. Something has to be done about this...immediately! The straight meat market bar called and they want their golden weenier cock meat head back..pronto!

Please Sir Can I Have Some More?

A good friend of mine recently returned back to Orlando after being gone for almost two years. Over the weekend we spent some much needed time catching up, exchanging all the latest gossip in our worlds, and just being plain ol silly. My ol lezzie chum is dying from a rare disease and has been given less than a year to live, but despite the dreadful news she has remained in surprisingly amazing spirits. I say.. I almost soiled my fucking pants countless times from her crazy antics. She is an amazing person, spirit and quite an informative bitch, If I may say so myself. If there are any ungrateful fucks reading this, you better take a good hard look at yourself and appreciate what you have in life and even the things you don't have. Stop complaining when its not warranted and don't sweat the small shit. Trust me, you'll laugh alot more throughout life if you do, and you might even soil yourself:)

Fucking Gross!

Recently my girlfriend and I dined at the commercial eatery, P.F. Chang's in Orlando. We promptly took our seats at the bar for a little lunch and cocktails and were happily greeted by a deliciously cute bartender named Nina. Now her service was great and I'm pretty sure she was fam, but my qualm about this greasy spoon is not with her; but more so about the filthy dishes and silverware they are giving out to patrons to eat on and with. Not only were our plates overly greasy on the top and bottom but there was food stuck on them as well. My girlfriend's fork was absolutely disgusting as well. I quickly noticed that the plates were in arms reach of where we were sitting and proceeded to grab two more for us, only to be greeted by two more dirty plates. Not giving up yet, I leaned over the bar further to reach underneath the soiled plates to fish out two more, only to find..that's right, you guessed it two more dirty fucking, greasy nasty plates. Come on now, really! Is it really that damn hard to run some hot water and soap of a some damn plates. I returned my defeated bum to my seat and waited for someone to come by and give my girl and I two clean plates and new silverware from a different area. So we stayed, ate, and we watched the Nina run around preparing shit, and that made us smile. Will we be returning for another romp with Chang? Not fucking likely, but we would not mind running into that hottie again:)

When is enough, enough?

There comes an age in every relationship where saying your final farewells to one another crosses your mind. Bidding each other adieu may be a representation of too many " rocky roads" or an affair that has just run its course. How is one to know when it is really time to say good bye after time has been invested along with a bevy of magnificent moments? I know of two certain women who are now facing this heart wrenching dilemma of what the fuck to do. Being that they are both extremely close friends of mine, all I can do is listen to the quarrels and keep my big mouth shut. The truth is I don't know what to tell either one of them. Only the two individuals involved know what their breaking point is with each other, and what they are willing to endure or not endure for the love of another. I can only hope that they figure this shit out before they spend oodles of money on new paint and fixtures for remodeling, otherwise the dumpee is gonna be pretty fucking pissed they waisted all that damn money only to get dumped a few weeks later.

Ok so this is a topic that has been discussed and rehashed for the longest but I have yet to give my public opinion on it. Tonights delectable sub-topic of what the fuck is she thinking, falls under the heading of Uhauling lesbians:) So recently an ex girlfriend of mine, whom I am still good friends with, decided to shack up with the new love of her life, informing me that they would soon be purchasing a house together. Thats right you heard correctly, a fucking house! Have they gone mad?They have only known each other a a few months ( I know for a fact less than 5) and now they feel they are so connected not only by their grinding pussy's but also by thier hearts; so much so that its only natural that the next step in their ridiculously doomed relationship would be to buy a house. Right? Now just to shed a little extra light on the subject, the new love is only 21, has a child under 18 months and is a new lesbian. IF she is even a a real lesbian. So what is my friend thinking? Does she really think this shit is going to work? Our nameless lez is fastly approaching 30 and her new baby lez girlfriend is just able to legally order a drink. As far as Im concerned baby lez (and Im being generous with that term) is only looking for a mommy/daddy for her bastard kid and warm house where will bills are not of her concern. I guess being gay for pay is still alive and kicking.

Waaah!!!

Every once in a while I am reminded by the incessant ramblings of a fellow lezzie friend that we are just like everyone else in this drone adapted world. Have I just fooled myself into thinking that we are all strong minded, determined, hard ass bitches who know whats up. Could it be that we are only as strong as our counter part?Whats more is that this comes almost as a surprise every time...Oh wait, another shitty, ass ended going no where lesbian relationship down the drain. This fellow lezzie friend (who shall remain nameless for her sake but more so for mine) has a distinct repetitive behavior..meet a girl, go on a few dates, has the best sex of her life, thinks its love, gives up all of her shit, moves in with them.. only to find that 5 fucking months later.. the girl is a bum, a freeloader, a soulless spider cunt who has spun her up in to cunting web. The latest addition in this rendition only happens to be a drug addict ( a new one for the rap sheet). Where is the confident, sexy artsy fartsy woman I once knew? Aren't you tired of being a fucking doormat? Maybe your not, but I am tired of you calling every fucking 5 months with the same damn story.