Im Beefy

While enjoying an evening out with my girlfriend at one of our favorite artsy fartsy hangouts, The Peacock Lounge; our space was invaded by an alien. Now I'm sure most of you have seen this type of extraterrestial floating around town. Its the I make 8 figures, shit golden bricks, and every man, child, and especially woman should bow down and worship me. The type of alien that feels the need to grab his fucking weenier every two seconds just to make sure some swirly gal hasn't run off with it, because after all..he is a hot commodity..right? PLEASE!!! Its not even possible for be to be more disgusted by this type of pig who would like to think if himself as a man. Its bad enough that we have to see this type of jack off running around during the day, but now we must be subjected to seeing this pompous ass in our hangout time.. Something has to be done about this...immediately! The straight meat market bar called and they want their golden weenier cock meat head back..pronto!

Please Sir Can I Have Some More?

A good friend of mine recently returned back to Orlando after being gone for almost two years. Over the weekend we spent some much needed time catching up, exchanging all the latest gossip in our worlds, and just being plain ol silly. My ol lezzie chum is dying from a rare disease and has been given less than a year to live, but despite the dreadful news she has remained in surprisingly amazing spirits. I say.. I almost soiled my fucking pants countless times from her crazy antics. She is an amazing person, spirit and quite an informative bitch, If I may say so myself. If there are any ungrateful fucks reading this, you better take a good hard look at yourself and appreciate what you have in life and even the things you don't have. Stop complaining when its not warranted and don't sweat the small shit. Trust me, you'll laugh alot more throughout life if you do, and you might even soil yourself:)

Fucking Gross!

Recently my girlfriend and I dined at the commercial eatery, P.F. Chang's in Orlando. We promptly took our seats at the bar for a little lunch and cocktails and were happily greeted by a deliciously cute bartender named Nina. Now her service was great and I'm pretty sure she was fam, but my qualm about this greasy spoon is not with her; but more so about the filthy dishes and silverware they are giving out to patrons to eat on and with. Not only were our plates overly greasy on the top and bottom but there was food stuck on them as well. My girlfriend's fork was absolutely disgusting as well. I quickly noticed that the plates were in arms reach of where we were sitting and proceeded to grab two more for us, only to be greeted by two more dirty plates. Not giving up yet, I leaned over the bar further to reach underneath the soiled plates to fish out two more, only to find..that's right, you guessed it two more dirty fucking, greasy nasty plates. Come on now, really! Is it really that damn hard to run some hot water and soap of a some damn plates. I returned my defeated bum to my seat and waited for someone to come by and give my girl and I two clean plates and new silverware from a different area. So we stayed, ate, and we watched the Nina run around preparing shit, and that made us smile. Will we be returning for another romp with Chang? Not fucking likely, but we would not mind running into that hottie again:)