Page 142, and you?

Its been a while since Ive been on here to record any random thoughts that may have fluttered through my coconut. Yes, yes its true, I have been caught up in my own lesbian drama. Can you believe it? I have been facing some tough times in my relationship lately, in the constant struggle to stay on the same page. What page are we on again? I'm such a fast reader you know..These are the times where you consult the friends whose relationships are probably no better than yours for advice on what to do. Questioning them to death, worrying them with a bunch of hows and whys. Fuck! Have I become the incessant rambler that I utterly detest day in and day out. OK, I finally figured out that my brilliance in solving problems in relationships only applies to other peoples relationships, not my own. I cant even use my own craft for my own good.. now that's some bullshit. Oh well, wasted talent. I'll figure it out one way or another, I always do.
I'm about to finish page 142, chapter 6. What page are you on?

Im Beefy

While enjoying an evening out with my girlfriend at one of our favorite artsy fartsy hangouts, The Peacock Lounge; our space was invaded by an alien. Now I'm sure most of you have seen this type of extraterrestial floating around town. Its the I make 8 figures, shit golden bricks, and every man, child, and especially woman should bow down and worship me. The type of alien that feels the need to grab his fucking weenier every two seconds just to make sure some swirly gal hasn't run off with it, because after all..he is a hot commodity..right? PLEASE!!! Its not even possible for be to be more disgusted by this type of pig who would like to think if himself as a man. Its bad enough that we have to see this type of jack off running around during the day, but now we must be subjected to seeing this pompous ass in our hangout time.. Something has to be done about this...immediately! The straight meat market bar called and they want their golden weenier cock meat head back..pronto!

Please Sir Can I Have Some More?

A good friend of mine recently returned back to Orlando after being gone for almost two years. Over the weekend we spent some much needed time catching up, exchanging all the latest gossip in our worlds, and just being plain ol silly. My ol lezzie chum is dying from a rare disease and has been given less than a year to live, but despite the dreadful news she has remained in surprisingly amazing spirits. I say.. I almost soiled my fucking pants countless times from her crazy antics. She is an amazing person, spirit and quite an informative bitch, If I may say so myself. If there are any ungrateful fucks reading this, you better take a good hard look at yourself and appreciate what you have in life and even the things you don't have. Stop complaining when its not warranted and don't sweat the small shit. Trust me, you'll laugh alot more throughout life if you do, and you might even soil yourself:)

Fucking Gross!

Recently my girlfriend and I dined at the commercial eatery, P.F. Chang's in Orlando. We promptly took our seats at the bar for a little lunch and cocktails and were happily greeted by a deliciously cute bartender named Nina. Now her service was great and I'm pretty sure she was fam, but my qualm about this greasy spoon is not with her; but more so about the filthy dishes and silverware they are giving out to patrons to eat on and with. Not only were our plates overly greasy on the top and bottom but there was food stuck on them as well. My girlfriend's fork was absolutely disgusting as well. I quickly noticed that the plates were in arms reach of where we were sitting and proceeded to grab two more for us, only to be greeted by two more dirty plates. Not giving up yet, I leaned over the bar further to reach underneath the soiled plates to fish out two more, only to find..that's right, you guessed it two more dirty fucking, greasy nasty plates. Come on now, really! Is it really that damn hard to run some hot water and soap of a some damn plates. I returned my defeated bum to my seat and waited for someone to come by and give my girl and I two clean plates and new silverware from a different area. So we stayed, ate, and we watched the Nina run around preparing shit, and that made us smile. Will we be returning for another romp with Chang? Not fucking likely, but we would not mind running into that hottie again:)

When is enough, enough?

There comes an age in every relationship where saying your final farewells to one another crosses your mind. Bidding each other adieu may be a representation of too many " rocky roads" or an affair that has just run its course. How is one to know when it is really time to say good bye after time has been invested along with a bevy of magnificent moments? I know of two certain women who are now facing this heart wrenching dilemma of what the fuck to do. Being that they are both extremely close friends of mine, all I can do is listen to the quarrels and keep my big mouth shut. The truth is I don't know what to tell either one of them. Only the two individuals involved know what their breaking point is with each other, and what they are willing to endure or not endure for the love of another. I can only hope that they figure this shit out before they spend oodles of money on new paint and fixtures for remodeling, otherwise the dumpee is gonna be pretty fucking pissed they waisted all that damn money only to get dumped a few weeks later.

Ok so this is a topic that has been discussed and rehashed for the longest but I have yet to give my public opinion on it. Tonights delectable sub-topic of what the fuck is she thinking, falls under the heading of Uhauling lesbians:) So recently an ex girlfriend of mine, whom I am still good friends with, decided to shack up with the new love of her life, informing me that they would soon be purchasing a house together. Thats right you heard correctly, a fucking house! Have they gone mad?They have only known each other a a few months ( I know for a fact less than 5) and now they feel they are so connected not only by their grinding pussy's but also by thier hearts; so much so that its only natural that the next step in their ridiculously doomed relationship would be to buy a house. Right? Now just to shed a little extra light on the subject, the new love is only 21, has a child under 18 months and is a new lesbian. IF she is even a a real lesbian. So what is my friend thinking? Does she really think this shit is going to work? Our nameless lez is fastly approaching 30 and her new baby lez girlfriend is just able to legally order a drink. As far as Im concerned baby lez (and Im being generous with that term) is only looking for a mommy/daddy for her bastard kid and warm house where will bills are not of her concern. I guess being gay for pay is still alive and kicking.

Waaah!!!

Every once in a while I am reminded by the incessant ramblings of a fellow lezzie friend that we are just like everyone else in this drone adapted world. Have I just fooled myself into thinking that we are all strong minded, determined, hard ass bitches who know whats up. Could it be that we are only as strong as our counter part?Whats more is that this comes almost as a surprise every time...Oh wait, another shitty, ass ended going no where lesbian relationship down the drain. This fellow lezzie friend (who shall remain nameless for her sake but more so for mine) has a distinct repetitive behavior..meet a girl, go on a few dates, has the best sex of her life, thinks its love, gives up all of her shit, moves in with them.. only to find that 5 fucking months later.. the girl is a bum, a freeloader, a soulless spider cunt who has spun her up in to cunting web. The latest addition in this rendition only happens to be a drug addict ( a new one for the rap sheet). Where is the confident, sexy artsy fartsy woman I once knew? Aren't you tired of being a fucking doormat? Maybe your not, but I am tired of you calling every fucking 5 months with the same damn story.